Have you ever wanted to lick someone’s sweat? Because I haven’t.
Yet this image is something that appears quite frequently in romances. Specifically, the heroine sees the hero all sweaty from doing a Manly Thing (laying pipe, making a soufflé, playing sportsball, etc) and is like: “I want to lick that sweat.”
Time for a poll!
Unlike my previous discussions of things that are not sexy (smirking, moist apertures), I can kind of see the logical progression of this one.
Step 1: Man doing Many Things is attractive.
Step 2: Man sweat – when it’s the Right Man – smells so delicious.
Step 3: I want to put my mouth on Delicious Man.
It’s the final step that loses me – the move from salivating over someone to wanting to lick their arm or whatever. I suspect that the desire to lick sweat is generally concentrated on, say, the chest, neck, and back, but if that’s the case, maybe we should be a little more specific, eh? Also, I’m not a germaphobe, but if I’m attracted to someone, I feel like it’s a bit more sanitary to touch them with my hands rather than my mouth. Until the right moment, obviously, but you’ve got to build up to it! That’s what foreplay is all about.
Maybe it’s because I live with a toddler who licks my arm on the regular and…it is not pleasant. Just the feeling of someone’s tongue suddenly running over your skin is…well, just typing that sentence was a little bit shudder-inducing. Unsolicited licking in general: not sexy.
This has been a Hot Take by Holly, brought to you by every single contemporary romance ever written.
The Smut Report 
I love these posts. (By the way, I’m not sure if it’s WordPress but the links to your previous hot takes seem broken – I wanted to check out the moist apertures one.) I can also see how this desire would play out in theory, but sweaty men are stinky irl, abs or no. I wouldn’t want them anywhere near me, let alone my tongue. It’s a hell, no for me. Also lol I was so amused that your point of comparison is your toddler licking you. 😂
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I double checked the links, and they’re working on my end. **shakes fist at wordpress**
In case they are still busted for you, here’s the moist apertures post: https://smutreport.com/2020/02/24/unsolicited-advice-for-budding-romance-novelists/
And exactly! I understand in theory, but in practice…yeugh.
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On the mobile WP app, when I click it, it says, “Error: unsupported URL”. When I’m on WordPress Reader for desktop, it doesn’t display the error message but doesn’t redirect either. However, when I go to smutreport.com, everything works fine… 😅 So yes, I think it’s a WordPress problem.
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Hmmm, thanks for the heads up!
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I also want to know what “slants mouth across hers” means because I just envision a kid wiping his lips across a window or something equally messy. Either way, I LOVE this post.
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Thank you!
And you’re right, that whole mouth slanting thing is very mysterious. I suspect, that along with sardonic brows, someone came up with it, and then everyone started using the same phrase because that’s how you describe things in romance novels – but without thinking about what it really meant.
And now I will forever picture a kid rubbing their lips across a window when a mouth gets slanted. Thanks for that. 🙂
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*evil chortle* I even posted this question on Twitter with a GIF but I got zero responses. I am not good at Twitter engagement. At least I know you and I are together in not understanding it!
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I also do not understand how Twitter works.
But you’ve inspired me to write a post, I think. I’m thinking lots of pictures from clinch covers might help solve this mystery.
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Laying pipe 😏 lol I agree though, no sweat licking here. I kinda understand the concept, but I’d rather lick a sweat-free sexy body thanks!
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It’s funny, for me it’s more the licking than the sweat. Fresh sweat is not so bad! But I’m glad that my very scientific survey is validating my previously-held opinion.
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As a man, heterosexual, I certainly cannot see myself licking another man’s sweat. That is gross. If I put myself in the opposite position and think of licking a woman’s sweat, I think it’s equally gross. I can speak from experience. I was having lunch with a gal-pal one day who had just finished a work-out, and holy god she stank. Which was really too bad, she’s a good friend, but lunch wasn’t so good that day.
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I’m glad to hear that the aversion to sweat-licking transcends gender divisions!
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Holly, Nope, I never wanted to lick it. Smell, however, is fine! Mom
Sent from my iPhone
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My very scientific survey indicates that pretty much everyone agrees with the no sweat licking. I wonder why it shows up in romances so much.
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