It’s time for another installment of That’s Not Sexy!
This time, I want to talk about the thing where one party forcibly inserts their fingers into the other party’s mouth.
I am not talking about Jane kissing or sucking on John’s fingertips here. I am talking about John pushing Jane’s mouth open and sticking his fingers up in there and maybe pumping them like his fingers are a penis and are about to ejaculate onto her tonsils.
Obviously, this is an act of dominance. And I do enjoy reading kinkier romance, but when this happens I am completely pulled out of the moment. Reading about spanking – no big deal. Reading about finger-jabbing? YIKES.
Even if I am kissing someone’s hands or fingers voluntarily, I don’t want to put their whole finger in my mouth. Do I know where that finger has been? Has my partner washed their hands recently? (During these pestilential times, these questions become even more pressing.) Basically, I have no desire to deepthroat a finger.
The other side of this equation is the force. Just the thought of having something shoved into my body gives me the willies. You’ve got to ease me into things! Foreplay, people! Foreplay! You can be dominant and in charge and kinky and sexy and still ease the way instead of jabbing right on in.
Related: I also hate it when people just randomly jam their fingers into someone’s vagina (again, usually as an act of dominance), but mainly because I don’t understand the logistics. Like, if you’re both standing in an elevator, and she’s wearing a skirt but no underwear – how do you even get your fingers in there suddenly and sneakily enough that she can’t jiu-jitsu block that shit? The key here is the sneak attack, obviously if there’s other force (physical or emotional) involved it’s a different issue. But I digress.
In short: don’t stick your fingers in my mouth.
This Hot Take By Holly has been brought to you by Your Dad Will Do. Thank you.
The Smut Report 
I think it depends on how far back the fingers go. If someone sticks fingers in far enough to trigger a gag reflex — or is impressed by someone’s lack of a gag reflex while they explore their tonsils with fingertips — then that is a turn off. But I just wrote a character saying “Suck on ’em,” because he wanted to get his fingers wet to get her wet while his mouth was “busy.” Front-of-mouth finger-sucking in service to her pleasure can be quite… Yeah….
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That’s totally fair. When I wrote this I was specifically thinking about the exploring tonsils side of things. But even the front-of-mouth finger-in-mouth exploration is Not Hot if he just sticks them in there without the accompanying dirty talk.
PS: LOOKING FORWARD TO READING THAT HOT SEX SCENE
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“Even if I am kissing someone’s hands or fingers voluntarily, I don’t want to put their whole finger in my mouth. Do I know where that finger has been? Has my partner washed their hands recently? (During these pestilential times, these questions become even more pressing.) Basically, I have no desire to deepthroat a finger. ”
Yes, yes, 1000x yes! 🤣🤣🤣 I totally agree with everything you said. I don’t even think mild finger sucking is really that sexy, and if someone was trying to suck mine I’d be like…well there are other places you can kiss/suck that actually do something for me 🤣
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Dude, clearly we have all of the same turn-offs in romance writing. Because mild finger sucking really isn’t sexy, unless you’re like, feeding each other chocolate-covered strawberries.
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Lolol yes. And then the real sex appeal there is the chocolate and strawberries!
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Exactly
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That is a particular show of dominance I enjoy.
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That’s fair! I get, intellectually, why people like it, but it’s not for me.
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