Advertisements for Love, Book #1
Heat Factor: Everything is very proper; the door is firmly closed.
Character Chemistry: Ewan is too obtuse to have chemistry with anyone.
Plot: Dueling flower farms + Widow must protect her child + First love back from the dead + Battles over an inheritance + Newspaper advertisements for a husband
Overall: I haven’t been this angry about a hero in a long time.
Children of the Night, Book #8
Heat Factor: Purple prose fading to black
Character Chemistry: Well…
Plot: There’s a meddling vampire family and a vengeful sire and just a lot
Overall: It’s not tightly written
Heat Factor: It’s cold in the castle but they make their own fires
Character Chemistry: Gothic with a side of romance
Plot: Beauty and the Beast, but in an ice castle, and the evil witch is still there
Overall: Slow pace, rich writing, creepy atmosphere, unique retelling
Heat Factor: Horny AF
Character Chemistry: Beasts of a feather boink together
Plot: Beauty and the Beast, Disney .0, but with extra graphic violence
Overall: The TSR team is divided on this one
Heat Factor: Y’all remember when Khal Drogo needed to be taught how to do it face to face by Khaleesi and then their marriage did a 180?
Character Chemistry: “You may look weird, but I find you oddly attractive.”
Plot: Benevolent colonialism + how to start seeds + sexytimes
Overall: We have some THOUGHTS about the politics of this book.
Heat Factor: “Let’s start this whole marriage thing slow.” *sees giant alien penis with alien penis accoutrements* “Just kidding, let’s bone against the wall.”
Character Chemistry: Fully 30% of the book is him embracing her with his wings.
Plot: Jewel thief agrees to be a mail order bride to get out of jail and ends up married to a gargoyle-alien cop. Freak outs and boning ensue.
Overall: Fresh and fun, but you’ll never look at spaghetti the same way again.
Both of these books feature the same basic premise: a human woman agrees to be a mail-order bride to an alien, sight unseen. She is not entirely honest with her spouse about her background and/or motivations. Her apex predator partner is a giant cinnamon roll who wants nothing more than to please his new bride. And while both books end with love and alien babies, there are some glaring differences between how these books present the alien Other. Let’s dive in!
Continue reading “Monster Mash Smashdown: Non-Humanoid Alien Week”Fix-It Witches, Book #1
Heat Factor: She climbs him like a tree, so that’s fun…but I would have liked a little more communication beforehand
Character Chemistry: They were so not on the same page but also so into each other
Plot: So many drama shenanigans
Overall: Oof
The Smut Report 