Dueling Review, Monster Mash Smashdown, Rant

Monster Mash Smashdown: Beauty and the Beast (emphasis on Beast) week

Bitterburn by Ann Aguirre (2020)

Heat Factor: It’s cold in the castle but they make their own fires

Character Chemistry: Gothic with a side of romance

Plot: Beauty and the Beast, but in an ice castle, and the evil witch is still there

Overall: Slow pace, rich writing, creepy atmosphere, unique retelling


versus


His Beauty by Jack Harbon (2020)

Heat Factor: Horny AF

Character Chemistry: Beasts of a feather boink together

Plot: Beauty and the Beast, Disney .0, but with extra graphic violence

Overall: The TSR team is divided on this one

Continue reading “Monster Mash Smashdown: Beauty and the Beast (emphasis on Beast) week”
Dueling Review, Monster Mash Smashdown, Recommended Read

Monster Mash Smashdown: Books by C.M. Nascosta

Morning Glory Milking Farm

Heat Factor: Violet really wants that big bull dick (and meaty balls).

Character Chemistry: We’ve got some bossy daddy energy going on here.

Plot: Broke millennial takes pharmaceutical job “milking” (*wink*) minotaur bulls for the benefits and living wage then falls for a client.

Overall: Don’t be scared by the title or the premise. This book is *delightful*.


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Girls Weekend

Heat Factor: There’s a lot of sex (even kinky sex), but we wouldn’t call this book high heat because the plot banks the flames. 

Character Chemistry: There are a lot of moving parts here (pun intended) so it’s hard to generalize.

Plot: Three friends go to an orc nudist colony for some casual hookups, two find guys and catch feelings.

Overall: Even though it’s literally a girls weekend at an orgy town, this book is so much more than “SPRING BREAK! TAKE OFF YOUR TOP!!” It’s weird. In a good way. And it might not be a genre romance?

Continue reading “Monster Mash Smashdown: Books by C.M. Nascosta”
Dueling Review, Monster Mash Smashdown, Rant

Monster Mash Smashdown: Non-Humanoid Alien Week

I Married a Lizardman by Regine Abel (2021)

Heat Factor: Y’all remember when Khal Drogo needed to be taught how to do it face to face by Khaleesi and then their marriage did a 180?

Character Chemistry: “You may look weird, but I find you oddly attractive.”

Plot: Benevolent colonialism + how to start seeds + sexytimes

Overall: We have some THOUGHTS about the politics of this book.


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A Winged Embrace by S.J. Sanders (2021)

Heat Factor: “Let’s start this whole marriage thing slow.” *sees giant alien penis with alien penis accoutrements* “Just kidding, let’s bone against the wall.”

Character Chemistry: Fully 30% of the book is him embracing her with his wings.

Plot: Jewel thief agrees to be a mail order bride to get out of jail and ends up married to a gargoyle-alien cop. Freak outs and boning ensue. 

Overall: Fresh and fun, but you’ll never look at spaghetti the same way again.


Both of these books feature the same basic premise: a human woman agrees to be a mail-order bride to an alien, sight unseen. She is not entirely honest with her spouse about her background and/or motivations. Her apex predator partner is a giant cinnamon roll who wants nothing more than to please his new bride. And while both books end with love and alien babies, there are some glaring differences between how these books present the alien Other. Let’s dive in!

Continue reading “Monster Mash Smashdown: Non-Humanoid Alien Week”
Coming Soon..., Monster Mash Smashdown

October Preview: Monster Mash Smashdown

Well, it seems like Romancelandia is on a bit of a monster love bender, and we at The Smut Report want to join the fun. Is this our usual reading jam? Not really. Are we going to have fun with it? Absolutely. 

For the month of October, we’ve decided to read not one, not two, but eight books together. Can we do it? We shall see. Every Friday, we’ll post a group review discussing two books selected based on a theme. 

We proudly present: Monster Mash Smashdown!

Week One: Aliens of the non-humanoid variety

Week Two: C.M. Nascosta has written two books and we couldn’t decide, so we’re reading both

Week Three: Beauty and the Beast retellings with Beasts that stay beasts

Week Four: Tentacles

Are we ready for this?!

Continue reading “October Preview: Monster Mash Smashdown”