Heat Factor: They definitely like the sexytimes, even if they don’t do it all the time
Character Chemistry: I was going to say he’s a tall drink of water and she’s a firecracker, but those metaphors don’t mix well. So. How about: he’s a bottle of Diet Coke, and she’s a Mento
Plot: Maggie got arrested and wound up in a reluctant Ian’s custody, but when he finally manages to leave her, he realizes he really doesn’t want to
Overall: Just when I thought things were slowing down, a new adventure cropped up
Heat Factor: It’s your standard old school fare—a couple of relatively descriptive scenes and then a bunch of interludes that fade to black.
Character Chemistry: Antagonism leads to love.
Plot: Georgie is dressed as a boy but James knows she’s a woman. So he’s seducing her. And then they’re forced to get married.
Overall: Slow. Then bonkers.
versus
Captured by Beverly Jenkins (2009)
Heat Factor: There’s a lot of blue balls, and then it’s just balls to the wall.
Character Chemistry: It was “NO!” Then, “YES, let’s do it.” Then, “Let’s get married!”
Plot: Dominic steals Clare away from her mistress and shows her a life of freedom, but Clare can’t rest easy until her children have also been freed from slavery.
Overall: High stakes, low tension. Very historically juicy.
I read way more books this year than I’ll review, and some of them were a ride. Good ride, wild ride, whatever. So as we wrap up 2021, I figured I’d do an “Erin Read” Saturday Smutty Six roundup. Share the wealth and all that.
Folks, I’m pretty sure that Holly found this series for me when I was on a dragon binge last winter and it is wild. There are plenty of questionable goings on in these books; HOWEVER, they are about dragon shifters falling in love with their nannies and they are all set in the 80s. Are they paternalistic as hell? Yes! But they are also absolutely bonkers! Blue eyeshadow! Perms! Crimping irons! Scrunchies! Denim jackets! Ridiculously OTT climactic moments! I can’t exactly recommend them, but I totally kept reading them because what even is this?
My reading totally took a turn for the weird this year because sci-fi smut is often just endlessly entertaining, which is how I happened on the Monsters Love Curvy Girls series. I don’t recommend it as a fat positive book, and once again we are contending with a lot of paternalistic themes (hi, sci-fi romance!), BUT this alien looks like Darth Maul had a baby with satan. The heroine faints the first time she sees him. So naturally when they start living together and she starts taking care of his children who can literally breathe fire, she begins to find Daddly alien hella hot. Why would she go back to earth when Daddy has a forked tongue and a prehensile tail?
This whole series is all about: come for the taboo sexytimes (which is most of the text), stay for the emotional depth. Katee Robert is really good at using sex to communicate what’s going on emotionally. Strictly speaking the heroine of this story is 25, so this is probably not suited to readers who are looking for straight-up taboo guardian smut, but there is a significant age gap. So, if you’re not looking specifically for guardian/ward taboo, then may I show you this very sexy book featuring two people who have been pining for each other for years who then reenact their one meeting per year as it might have been if they’d caved to their desires?
This one is also very much about the sexytimes, on account of: roommates who have been secretly in love with each other agree to make a sex tape – as friends, of course – for a local adult film contest. She can get her directing mojo back and he can get over his ex. Except that they’re really using the experience to get closer to each other. Not suited to readers who need well-edited books; this book would benefit from some editing. But it’s a really interesting premise with characters who are really afraid to take a leap. And the way he holds his hand out to her has lived rent free in my brain since I finished reading.
So there is a plot in this story (and it’s like “Yay! Get it, Nina!”), but all I cared about was that it created a forced proximity situation so that these characters could resist all their feelings by having really hot sex without even touching each other. And then with touching each other, sure, but bottom line: the buildup of the sexual tension in this story is lit. And of course it’s written by Talia Hibbert, who always uses words so well. A delightful novella.
I know it looks like it, but I didn’t only read sexy books this year! This book does have sex in it, but not a lot. There’s too much going on for danger bangs here! First of all, this story is kinda bonkers – he shoots a missile at a vehicle from a helicopter AND they are both like, “why yes, marriage” after about a minute – but it also features a middle-aged couple, exciting intrigue (International theft! Forgery! Murder!), and Detroit. I absolutely loved that Jasmine was perfectly happy to have the life she wanted – which was exactly the life she had, no partner required – so her relationship with Torr was solely rooted in the happiness it brought them to be together.
To celebrate Women’s History Month, every Saturday in March we’ve prepared a Saturday Smutty Six list of some of our favorite heroines. This list is organized in roughly chronological order.
TL;DR – Hester is the shit. Her home is a station on the Underground Railroad, she is an activist and leader in her community, she only buys products made by people who are anti-slavery (even though she’s on a budget and it would be cheaper not to), and she’s doing just fine.
Annabelle is sort of a reluctant activist, because she’s a suffragette primarily because she has to be in order to afford going to Oxford. On the other hand, she’s an awesome activist because she’s breaking down academic walls by attending university, proving that women are just as academic-minded as men. Enjoyed the angst and the power dynamics between Annabelle and the Duke.
Cassandra is a proto-feminist who really doesn’t have time for Ashmont-the-himbo, but also social constructs are what they are and as much as we might wish it otherwise, they can’t be smashed overnight. Enjoy a thoughtful approach to the “compromised but feminist” histrom heroine in a non-obnoxious Shakespeare retelling.
We recommend this book a lot, but that’s because Daisy Swann is so awesome. She’s a chemist. She’s starting a make-up empire. And she integrates her love of make-up into activism: by helping herself (and other women) feel beautiful, she develops the confidence to step into spaces previously barred to women. The scene where she and her friends crash a snooty restaurant is especially delightful.
Bernie is fighting to keep her family property–and Eli Zorn is preparing to help tear it down for his Fixer Upper tv show. As it turns out, Bernie has big dreams to help provide a safe space for bullied kids…and Eli is just the guy to help her realize that dream.
Julia moves to Texas to be with her boyfriend, who ends up not being her boyfriend anymore. Just when she’s pulling together a life with good friends and getting settled at her AMAZING job, everything gets put on the line when Rocco comes in to evaluate whether Julia’s organization should continue its work in the community. Loved every single character in this beautifully written book!
Valinda travels to NOLA to help with teaching Black people during Reconstruction. There are numerous hurdles thrown in her way (starting on, like, her first day), but Drake’s family is willing to help not only Valinda, but their greater community (by building a school, etc.), as everyone works to create a new and more equal normal after the Civil War.
Eva is one of the most energetic heroines I’ve ever read, which makes it fitting that she is the BEST Zumba teacher. She and Anthony have really sparkling antagonistic (turned not-so-antagonistic, heyo!) banter, and their chemistry carries the book. Plus, there are shenanigans at the drive in!
Jane is a Kindergarten teacher, and is therefore the cutest person on the planet. She is also extremely wholesome and feels like she’s not cool enough to be dating a former rock star, even if he’s her best friend, they have tons of stuff in common, and, oh yeah, she’s madly in love with him. (And he really really really likes her too.)
Sex educator Leah gives her best friend BDSM lessons as a Chanukah present! But what really makes this book special is how gentle it is. Leah and Jordan are so kind to one another, and the world would be a better place if we all treated our loved ones with such thoughtfulness.
Dani Brown is a professor, and she’s exceptionally good at what she does, even if she doesn’t yet feel she’s at the level of her academic idol. What she is maybe not exceptionally good at is relationships, but fear not: Zaf is a book boyfriend.
(Previously released under the much more entertaining title Thank You, Chlamydia)
Dani (two Danis!) is an elementary school teacher, and mostly, from an appearance and behavior standpoint (at least until she meets Ryan) acts like it. And yet she somehow ends up with Chlamydia! This is a fun book that deals with some heavy ideas about how we perceive ourselves and others.
The Smut Report 