Listicle

Saturday Smutty Six: Short Christmas Romance

If you’re anything like us, you might find December getting a little…busy. It can be challenging to a) find time to read or even b) focus on a whole novel. Luckily, there are plenty of lovely Christmas shorts to enjoy! Here are six we’ve found for you this year.

A Christmas Gone Perfectly Wrong by Cecilia Grant

It’s entirely possible we’ll offer up this novella every year because 1. It is the perfect Christmas romance (Really. It’s perfect.) and 2. It is always free and 3. Did I mention it’s perfect? Erin squees about it here, and Holly adds her two cents here. If you haven’t read it yet, give it a try. 

Handmade Holidays by ‘Nathan Burgoine

Gosh, Burgoine is such a pleasure to read. So evocative. The story travels through 15 years of Christmases, from the time Nick is a teen starting with nothing after getting kicked out of his family’s home, through years of ups and downs as he and his found family experience all the little steps that make life, well, life. And through it all, be he near or far, is Nick’s dear friend, Haruto. 

Note: This is a super slow burn that’s more about the journey Nick and Haruto travel to each other than about their romantic relationship as such. No sex, kisses at the end.

Stocking Stuffers by Erin McLellan

Sasha is suffering through the saccharine Christmas season, hating every sprinkle of faux snow after she was left at the altar on her Christmas Eve wedding last year, but she’s a gosh darn professional so she’s Ms. Claus AF while presenting a sex toy party at the local B&B…only to get snowed in. Perry hasn’t told his sister that he’s not just home for Christmas, he’s home permanently, and maybe it’s good because Sasha is amazing. And also offering Perry a fantastic sex-toy awakening while they wait for the roads to clear.


Holigay by K.M. Neuhold

I’m not sure I’ve ever read a best friends bi-awakening story that wasn’t filled with warm fuzzies, and this one is no different. Matt and Caspian already love each other deeply, it’s just that Caspian knows his unrequited love needs to stay buried while Matt thinks if he could just find a woman version of Caspian his life would be perfect. Then they end up on a Christmas vacation in Fiji that opens Matt’s eyes, but Caspian’s pretty sure things won’t last when they’re back home. Low key, low angst, high heat sweetness for days.

Merry Inkmas by Talia Hibbert

I’ll be honest—I didn’t agree with, like, anything these two think about love and romance and even life (like, has Cash ever heard of Patrick Stewart?), and I had FEELINGS about the dark moment (look, getting what you signed up for—insisted on!—should not be offensive), but honestly it’s nothing unusual for romance (please see this post). AND YET I was charmed by this holiday story about a famous but traumatized tattoo artist and a successful but traumatized university student getting their worlds turned inside out by each other.

All I Want for Christmas Is to Eat Out My Christmas Tree by Chuck Tingle

If you were intrigued when we did our Chuck Tingle deep dive, but all that butt pounding makes you nervous…did you know that Tingle also writes lesbian Tinglers? In this short story, Amy wants to find the perfect Christmas tree. In fact, she kind of wants everything to be perfect all the time. So she’s very excited to meet Noona, perfect Christmas tree, and they have perfectly imperfect sex, as well as a happy ending that will last at least until the end of the holiday season. (The bonus story features a sentient twice-baked potato.)

Recommended Read, Review Revisited

Review Revisited: Holly’s Take on A Christmas Gone Perfectly Wrong by Cecilia Grant (2014)

Hey you! Yeah, you! 

Are you feeling Grinchy right about now? 

Would you like your heart to grow three sizes?

Yes? 

Then please go read A Christmas Gone Perfectly Wrong immediately. It might be the perfect Christmas romance. It’s utterly charming and includes just enough of the obligatory “let’s do Christmas cheer” activities without being twee. It features two protagonists for whom *everything* goes wrong (#relatable, what’s up 2021!), but things end up just right in the end (and my heart goes pitter-pat).

I agree with everything Erin wrote about the characterizations in her review. What she doesn’t discuss is how crisp the writing is. Not just on the level of plot and characterization—because the way Grant builds up the tension between these two crazy lovebirds is masterful—but also on the level of word choice. 

Here are the first two paragraphs:

The trouble, Andrew Blackshear would later reflect, might have all been avoided if he’d simply kept to the main road. His first glimpse of the girl would then have been indoors, seated, with her hair bound tidily back, and their first dialogue would have been an inquisition so tedious as to temper the allure of those great swooping clean-edged curves that made up her prodigal mouth.

But with no way of knowing what lay in store, he hadn’t any reason to avoid the detour. The clouds broke above him, he turned down a lane whose towering yews promised a bit of shelter, and trouble found him, in torrents that put the winter squall to shame.

“Trouble found him, in torrents that put the winter squall to shame.” Just sit and savor that clause. I am egregiously bad at text analysis, so I can’t explain how amazing it is, but I can feel it, in my guts.

Look, both Erin and I thought this book was really really wonderful. You should probably just trust us. (Read on for Erin’s thoughts on the characters, plus general squeeing.)

Continue reading “Review Revisited: Holly’s Take on A Christmas Gone Perfectly Wrong by Cecilia Grant (2014)”
Recommended Read, Review

Review: A Christmas Gone Perfectly Wrong by Cecilia Grant (2014)

Blackshear Family series, Prequel Novella

Heat Factor: Two virgins together is SO FUN

Character Chemistry: The tension was killing me

Plot: Two proper, single, genteel people wind up with only one bed while trying to go about their respective Christmas plans

Overall: Perfect Christmas romance is perfect

Continue reading “Review: A Christmas Gone Perfectly Wrong by Cecilia Grant (2014)”