Listicle

Saturday Smutty Six: Short Christmas Romance

If you’re anything like us, you might find December getting a little…busy. It can be challenging to a) find time to read or even b) focus on a whole novel. Luckily, there are plenty of lovely Christmas shorts to enjoy! Here are six we’ve found for you this year.

A Christmas Gone Perfectly Wrong by Cecilia Grant

It’s entirely possible we’ll offer up this novella every year because 1. It is the perfect Christmas romance (Really. It’s perfect.) and 2. It is always free and 3. Did I mention it’s perfect? Erin squees about it here, and Holly adds her two cents here. If you haven’t read it yet, give it a try. 

Handmade Holidays by ‘Nathan Burgoine

Gosh, Burgoine is such a pleasure to read. So evocative. The story travels through 15 years of Christmases, from the time Nick is a teen starting with nothing after getting kicked out of his family’s home, through years of ups and downs as he and his found family experience all the little steps that make life, well, life. And through it all, be he near or far, is Nick’s dear friend, Haruto. 

Note: This is a super slow burn that’s more about the journey Nick and Haruto travel to each other than about their romantic relationship as such. No sex, kisses at the end.

Stocking Stuffers by Erin McLellan

Sasha is suffering through the saccharine Christmas season, hating every sprinkle of faux snow after she was left at the altar on her Christmas Eve wedding last year, but she’s a gosh darn professional so she’s Ms. Claus AF while presenting a sex toy party at the local B&B…only to get snowed in. Perry hasn’t told his sister that he’s not just home for Christmas, he’s home permanently, and maybe it’s good because Sasha is amazing. And also offering Perry a fantastic sex-toy awakening while they wait for the roads to clear.


Holigay by K.M. Neuhold

I’m not sure I’ve ever read a best friends bi-awakening story that wasn’t filled with warm fuzzies, and this one is no different. Matt and Caspian already love each other deeply, it’s just that Caspian knows his unrequited love needs to stay buried while Matt thinks if he could just find a woman version of Caspian his life would be perfect. Then they end up on a Christmas vacation in Fiji that opens Matt’s eyes, but Caspian’s pretty sure things won’t last when they’re back home. Low key, low angst, high heat sweetness for days.

Merry Inkmas by Talia Hibbert

I’ll be honest—I didn’t agree with, like, anything these two think about love and romance and even life (like, has Cash ever heard of Patrick Stewart?), and I had FEELINGS about the dark moment (look, getting what you signed up for—insisted on!—should not be offensive), but honestly it’s nothing unusual for romance (please see this post). AND YET I was charmed by this holiday story about a famous but traumatized tattoo artist and a successful but traumatized university student getting their worlds turned inside out by each other.

All I Want for Christmas Is to Eat Out My Christmas Tree by Chuck Tingle

If you were intrigued when we did our Chuck Tingle deep dive, but all that butt pounding makes you nervous…did you know that Tingle also writes lesbian Tinglers? In this short story, Amy wants to find the perfect Christmas tree. In fact, she kind of wants everything to be perfect all the time. So she’s very excited to meet Noona, perfect Christmas tree, and they have perfectly imperfect sex, as well as a happy ending that will last at least until the end of the holiday season. (The bonus story features a sentient twice-baked potato.)

Dueling Review

Review: Twilight Bone: Pounded by That Handsome Bigfoot Hiding on the Wing of my Plane Whose Wiener is Huge by Chuck Tingle (2022)

Heat Factor: The narrator really can’t get over how huge this bigfoot’s weiner is

Character Chemistry: In true erotica fashion, the chemistry is all in the desire for the sexytimes

Plot: Man must save airplane by having sex with the bigfoot that balances out the wings

Overall: This is just pure “Whaaaaaat?” But the X-Files spoof bonus story killed us dead.

Continue reading “Review: Twilight Bone: Pounded by That Handsome Bigfoot Hiding on the Wing of my Plane Whose Wiener is Huge by Chuck Tingle (2022)”
Dueling Review

Review: Pounded In The Butt By The Handsome Physical Manifestation Of Holiday Shopping by Chuck Tingle (2017)

Heat Factor: Even a box can get ridden

Character Chemistry: They’re sad together, and then they’re very very happy

Plot: Man becomes stranded in a sea of holiday shoppers with a present. Who has a big penis. And cut abs.

Overall: Absurdist erotica at its finest

Continue reading “Review: Pounded In The Butt By The Handsome Physical Manifestation Of Holiday Shopping by Chuck Tingle (2017)”
Dueling Review, Recommended Read

Review: Space Raptor Butt Invasion by Chuck Tingle (2015)

Heat Factor: The title says “invasion” but it was extremely consensual

Character Chemistry: Not sure chemistry is altogether necessary if you’re the only two people on the whole planet

Plot: Man is left behind alone on terraforming experiment planet due to budget cuts, finds sentient dinosaur who also thought he was alone to hang out with 

Overall: There are several excellent zingers in this short story.

Continue reading “Review: Space Raptor Butt Invasion by Chuck Tingle (2015)”