Listicle

Saturday Smutty Six: Ingrid Doesn’t Remember Anything

It’s a running joke here at TSR that when Ingrid reads a book, she remembers it for as long as she’s reading it, and then it’s gone from her head. This came up recently when we all decided to put together a list of Old School romances we barely remembered (here and here) and Ingrid didn’t remember anything. So, without further ado, here’s a list of books that Ingrid does remember.


This one’s formatted a little differently than usual because Ingrid actually remembered something first and then went hunting for the book.

Ingrid Remembers: She’s a newly divorced mom living in a beach house and the guy next door has a hammock she can’t keep her kid out of?

The Book: More Than Neighbors by Shannon Stacey

Ingrid Remembers: She’s got a one-handed brother and he’s kind of a real old school “daddy” type?

The Book: The Prize by Julie Garwood

Ingrid Remembers: She’s Helen of Troy and he’s a big deal for some reason, and they run around in ancient times and it’s all very something?

The Book: Wow. It’s Helen of Sparta by Amelia Carosella.

Ingrid Remembers: It’s like a romance but also it’s incredibly creepy, involves ghosts, and has a kind of wainscoting, Victorian house meets beach cottage vibe?

The Book: True Love by Jude Deveraux

Ingrid Remembers: It’s a really buttoned-up, recommend it to your Grandma series but then this one involves a woman who’s doing something that stirs up the townsfolk (but I don’t remember WHAT?? Maybe she’s just a redhead) and he’s trying to be Frank Lloyd Wright in the smallest pioneer town ever?

The Book: Quinn: A Sweet Western Historical Romance by Shanna Hatfield

Ingrid Remembers: One of her parents is like a senator or the mayor or something but the town is tiny so why would that be a big deal? 

The Book: It Had to Be Him by Tamra Baumann

TBR Challenge

TBR Challenge: Flirting with Danger

October’s theme prompt for Super Wendy’s #TBRChallenge 2022 was “Flirting with Danger.” Here are the books we chose to tackle our TBRs this month.

Holly Read: Wired by Julie Garwood (2017)

Buchanan/Renard/McKenna, Book #13

Why was this book on your TBR?

I saw it in a Little Free Library (remember, this is the story of my reading life), and went “Oh hey, I didn’t know that Julie Garwood was still writing books! Or that she writes…romantic suspense now? OK!”

Why did you choose this book for this month’s challenge?

A suspense book about a hacker and an FBI agent seemed like a solid choice for “flirting with danger.” 

What are your thoughts on the book?

Look, this book was not good. I admit that part of my lack of enjoyment was comparing this book to Garwood’s old highlander books—after all, a domineering Hottie McScottie with a sword in the 12th century is vastly entertaining, whereas a domineering Hottie McScottie (based on his name and his size) with a cell phone in the 21st century is…kinda offputting. I will say one thing: Garwood’s heroes are pretty consistent. But even setting aside my personal preference for bossy heroes to stay in the Middle Ages, this book was just not well-executed.

It’s info-dumpy and repetitive. There are several long passages in the first hundred pages where Allison thinks about her relationship with her cousin, Bill, who she has helped bail out of trouble multiple times. Like, multiple pages of her thinking about how he needs to take control of his life and stop thinking of himself as a victim but also thinking about how sorry she is for him because his parents (who also raised her) are the literal worst. You might think that Bill might become central to the plot in some way, but he doesn’t; you might also think that this would teach us something about Allison’s character, but it doesn’t. I guess it teaches us that she’s a conflicted pushover, but one scene would suffice to convey that information. 

Speaking of character, neither Allison nor Liam is well-developed. Allison is beautiful and good at computers (she’s coded as neurodivergent in some ways, but that’s not really fleshed out) and believes in giving people second chances. But there’s not much…there. I think the moment that really highlighted this for me was the point, two-thirds of the way into the book where Allison decides that she wants to live life, not just read about it on her computer. And…this was news to me. It seemed like she *was* living her life—finishing college, living in a group house with some friends, doing modeling gigs, and working on her computer because she enjoyed it and it helped her decompress. The setup of her being sad or discontent (except about her family situation) is not there, so the payoff of her changing to going out and doing things (read: falling in love) was not there. Liam, as mentioned above, is a standard Garwood hero, but, like, a cardboard cutout version.

The plot is not that engaging. When I read a romantic suspense novel, I want to feel like there are stakes! There are no stakes here. There are three subplots (FBI leaker, Bill’s trouble with the law, and some dudebro stealing Allison’s code) that Allison and Liam deal with, but they don’t turn out to be interrelated or part of a larger conspiracy. And when the danger thing happens at the very end, it’s obvious who is behind it, and that particular villain had barely been introduced or even teased as dangerous (one sentence about “mob connections” does not an ominous villain make). 

And finally, the romance is lackluster. There’s a bit of forbidden workplace testing the waters that’s fine, but then Allison finds the FBI leak, which means that Liam is no longer her supervisor, and they go to bonetown. And then he goes to Berlin for a mission. And doesn’t call for eight weeks. While this isn’t a single-POV narrative (it’s mostly dual-third with a bit of headhopping), the romance is almost entirely seen from Allison’s perspective. This is a problem when Liam is wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am-ing her and then disappearing for weeks on end—only for the reader to get one sentence about how hard it was for him to stay away from her (after we learn he was back in town and didn’t call her). Like. What? Do these kids like or even know each other? 

I’ll stick with the highlanders, thanks. (Luckily for me, I recently grabbed a copy of The Wedding from a used book store.) 

Buy Now: Amazon


Erin Read: Dark Mafia Prince by Annika Martin (2016)

Dangerous Royals, Book #1

Why was this book on your TBR?

It’s been a while, but I’m pretty sure it’s because it showed up as a bookbub deal shortly after I’d read one of the rom-coms in her billionaire series.

Why did you choose this book for this month’s challenge?

I typed “danger” into my kindle search, and this was the only fiction romance book that showed up. (Because of the series name)

What are your thoughts on the book?

Sooooo…. 

This is a dark romance. I knew that going in. My first clue was that the title includes “dark.” My second clue was that the title includes “mafia.” Have you ever read a mafia romance that isn’t dark? I haven’t. Not that I’ve read a lot of them. But still. So, I understood this was the situation going in. 

Did not expect the threat of sexual violence (Aleksio orders Mira to take off her panties while holding her father at gunpoint) in the first interaction. So there’s that.

But…

This book ends up being like a quasi-morality chain. It’s very mafia. I was extremely stressed out about Aleksio and his brother’s plan to cut off Mira’s finger to make her father fall in line (I couldn’t stop reading!) but Aleksio simply can’t be bad—because of Mira. She makes him want to be better. It’s still very murdery, and Mira does enter Aleksio’s world (at least to the extent that she wants to help find the third brother—which will increase an already substantial body count—and get the brothers’ whole revenge thing sorted out), but also Aleksio taps into his own buried sense of decency, which is why I say quasi-morality chain. He pulls her down into his world, but she also pulls him back up. 

Was this a favorite book? No. But it periodically had some nuggets that really tickled me—

He pulls away, panting. “You’re mine,” he says suddenly. A feral man’s way of saying I love you.

—like, WUT, but also if that doesn’t just capture the whole notion of a certain type of hero… Or:

He finds the elastic of my panties and presses his fingers to my dripping wet pussy. 

“Aleksio, we’re in a car chase. Be reasonable.”

Yes, Aleksio, be reasonable, this is no time for danger bangs. (Or is it?) 

Plus, there’s humiliation kink. It’s just OTT. So, in short, I was definitely entertained, and maybe if I’m not looking for the emotional balm of athletes who are totally soft for each other, I’ll read the next two books, because I kind of want to know what happens with the whole finding-the-third-brother and taking-back-their-birthright situation.

Buy Now: Amazon


Ingrid Read: Riley Thorn and the Blast from the Past by Lucy Score (2022)

Riley Thorn, Book #3

Why was this book on your TBR?

I read the first two and I don’t like abandoning my series babies.

Why did you choose this book for this month’s challenge?

This whole series is all about flirting and danger. It’s kind of the entire plot.

What are your thoughts on the book?

I’m all in on the absurd, bananas books are my favorite, but I think it’s possible we’ve reached max bonkers in this series. 

Essentially, the third book is meant to wrap up Riley’s struggle with her psychic gifts (she kind of doesn’t though? She loses her powers from sheer exhaustion and it’s not really resolved in a satisfying way), figure out what happened to Beth (who explodes onto the scene from left field with a totally different personality than I expected, but I kind of liked it), and solidify Riley’s relationship with Nick (who I didn’t like as much in this book, honestly).

I clearly disagree with most reviews here—I thought the first book was an absolute powerhouse and that they became less engaging as they went on. The last book was toeing the line on being romance adjacent, which is completely fine, but it also slid a little too far into the “let’s just add as much ridiculosity as possible and see what we can get away with” territory. There’s way too many plot lines and none of them end up being developed quite enough, and they don’t tie together as beautifully as they do in the first one. 

I’m pretty confident that there’s an eager audience for this though, and not just because Goodreads told me so—I just liked the first one better.

Buy Now: Amazon


Holly Also Read: Reckless by Selena Montgomery (2008)

Faraday, Book #1

Why was this book on your TBR? 

I bought it in November 2020 in a burst of gratitude to Stacy Abrams for just being awesome. And since she’s currently running for office, now seemed like a good time to plug how awesome she is.

Why did you choose this book for this month’s challenge?

Look, the first book I read for this month’s TBR Challenge was SUCH a dud that I was mad, and I wanted to read something good! This seemed like a good fit because a defense attorney flirting with the sheriff who is investigating crimes that implicate both her and her client is, like, textbook flirting with danger.

What are your thoughts on this book?

This is a well-crafted romantic suspense book. The tension between the characters ratchets up to mirror the tension in their situation. It’s a very slow burn—the sex happens quite late, the “I love yous” happen even later, and you have to wait until the sequel to solve the mystery. (AHHHHH!!!!!!!) The pacing is very deliberate; this is not a book that I whipped through in a day, but rather one that I put down and picked up on and off over the course of more than a week. That rarely happens with romances—I usually just read a book straight through and if I put a book down, I hardly ever return to it. But in this case, I needed some breathing room.

I also want to talk about Kell, the heroine. She is a defense attorney who unabashedly works to get rich, guilty people off. She is good at her job. She likes getting paid well. And she is unwilling to feel ashamed for doing the work she does—because her job is not exactly as crass as I (and the book) initially made it sound. Rather, her work is about creating reasonable doubt, which is another way to ensure that justice is served. Is this a source of conflict between her and Luke, the hot sheriff? Of course it is. But the push and pull between them and their conflicting perspectives on justice, the law, and their work effectively moves the plot forward, as Kell and Luke clash over their personal moral codes as well as their (probably not entirely ethical) collaboration to try and solve the murder of a local drug dealer. (Which is, of course, part of a much bigger conspiracy, hence the need for a second book. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!)

(Luckily I also bought the sequel. And since it’s called Deception, I figure it’ll be *perfect* for November’s TBR challenge.) 

Buy Now: Amazon


Want to join us in tackling your TBR? Next month’s theme is Lies.

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Back to Old School, Dueling Review, Rant, Recommended Read

Back to Old School: Hottie McScottie Week

The Black Lyon by Jude Deveraux (1980)

Heat Factor: It slipped in. Consent optional. Do you need consent if you’re married?

Character Chemistry: He is large, grumpy and swarthy, and she is fair, smol and pure. How can they not fall in love?

Plot: One damn thing after the next, caused by miscommunication and stupidity.

Overall: They’re mad at each other, but they don’t know why they’re mad at each other, and they won’t stop doing dumb things to each other.


versus


The Bride by Julie Garwood (1989)

Heat Factor: It’s the sexiest one we’ve read so far in the Old School read-a-thon

Character Chemistry: It’s The Taming of the Shrew, but who’s taming who?

Plot: Jamie’s like, “You told me to handle it! So I handled it.”

Overall: This book is absolutely delightful.


Content Note: These books contain rape, ablism, and racism and we discuss this content in our review. Also, sorry, Ranulf of The Black Lyon is not actually a Hottie McScottie, but he’s got highlander energy.

Continue reading “Back to Old School: Hottie McScottie Week”
Listicle

Saturday Smutty Six: Historical Romance Series We Want to See on TV

Whether you’ve already binged all of Bridgerton or are watching it slowly to savor every moment or are still unsure about this whole watching romance novels on TV thing, I think we can all agree: it was about damn time. In a recent interview with the NYT, Shonda Rhimes remarked that she was surprised more romance novels haven’t been adapted to television. After all, “Romance novels really lend themselves to the TV genre. They’re visual; they’re well paced; they have great plots.”

Shonda, we are right there with you. And now that Julia Quinn’s Bridgerton series is getting the star treatment, let’s keep that momentum going! Here are six other historical romance series that we’d love to see adapted to television.

Note: We stuck with historical romances here to give us some parameters. And because we love costume dramas. Click the titles to go to the series’ Amazon pages.


The Brothers Sinister by Courtney Milan

This series has ALL THE DRAMA! Aristocracy! Fashion! Class conflict! Suffrage! Workers’ rights! Scientific discovery! (I mean, sexual reproduction?!?! GASP!) Uptight old men who make excellent villains because they refuse to GET WITH THE TIMES! And I know they’re not going to put in on TV, but the protagonists of the first book having awkward sex because they’re both virgins is also absolutely a draw.

The Loyal League by Alyssa Cole

Honestly, who doesn’t want to watch a TV show about Union spies during the Civil War? Even better, the books in the series are really well-paced; the tension ratchets up as the story progresses and the stakes get higher, so they would work really well in an episodic format. Bonus points for whip-smart characters who have wide-ranging conversations about things like poetry and privilege. But really: I’m in it for the spies. Kicking ass. In costume. 

Spindle Cove by Tessa Dare

On Monday… A comedy, if you please. Spindle Cove is a quiet seaside haven for women who just don’t quite fit in…until the militia moves in, and prompts a battle of the sexes. But these fierce women get up to all kinds of hijinx and take no prisoners as they seek to live their best lives. Bonus points: there’s a crossover with the Castles Ever After series, so the show need never end!

Desperate Duchesses by Eloisa James

Thanks to The Queen’s Gambit, chess is having a moment – so why not tap into the sexy side of that chess energy? But with way more elaborate costumes, because holy cow are Georgian clothes something else. Powdered wigs for days! We will admit that not all of the books in this series are created equal, and therefore propose a focus on the dueling chess matches (and the sort of but not really at all love triangle) played between Jemma, Elijah, and Villiers, as their complicated relationship grounds the rest of the series. 

Laird’s Fiancees by Julie Garwood

For the Outlander fans who are really bored now that Claire and Jamie are in North Carolina, Julie Garwood’s highlander books are excellent Ye Olde Hottie MacScottie fare. Please see: Highlanders with tree trunk thighs, enormous swords, mysterious villains, clan alliances and rivalries, and lots and lots of plaid.

The Lotus Palace Mysteries by Jeannie Lin

And something for the mystery crowd! How about some edge-of-your-seat absolutely gripping murder mystery romances? Which happen to be set in the pleasure quarter of the capital city of Tang Dynasty China. We’ve got lots of cross-class forbidden romance stuff going on as characters from all walks of life interact in the liminal space of the pleasure quarter, which you know makes for all kinds of fun possibilities. 

Review

Review: The Gift by Julie Garwood (1991)

Crown’s Spies, Book 3

Heat Factor: Initial consent is dubious at best, but after that both parties are all about it, and so am I.

Character Chemistry: That thing where a super alpha submits to a naive, innocent, young woman. 

Plot: They were married as children. He kidnaps her to get some land. She convinces him that he loves her. And destroys his scary pirate ship with a parasol. In other words: Completely Bonkers. 

Overall: If you are Bodice Ripper Curious, The Gift is not a bad place to start.

Continue reading “Review: The Gift by Julie Garwood (1991)”