Dueling Review, Monster Mash Smashdown, Rant

Monster Mash Smashdown: Non-Humanoid Alien Week

I Married a Lizardman by Regine Abel (2021)

Heat Factor: Y’all remember when Khal Drogo needed to be taught how to do it face to face by Khaleesi and then their marriage did a 180?

Character Chemistry: “You may look weird, but I find you oddly attractive.”

Plot: Benevolent colonialism + how to start seeds + sexytimes

Overall: We have some THOUGHTS about the politics of this book.


versus


A Winged Embrace by S.J. Sanders (2021)

Heat Factor: “Let’s start this whole marriage thing slow.” *sees giant alien penis with alien penis accoutrements* “Just kidding, let’s bone against the wall.”

Character Chemistry: Fully 30% of the book is him embracing her with his wings.

Plot: Jewel thief agrees to be a mail order bride to get out of jail and ends up married to a gargoyle-alien cop. Freak outs and boning ensue. 

Overall: Fresh and fun, but you’ll never look at spaghetti the same way again.


Both of these books feature the same basic premise: a human woman agrees to be a mail-order bride to an alien, sight unseen. She is not entirely honest with her spouse about her background and/or motivations. Her apex predator partner is a giant cinnamon roll who wants nothing more than to please his new bride. And while both books end with love and alien babies, there are some glaring differences between how these books present the alien Other. Let’s dive in!

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Recommended Read, Review

Review: A Heart of Blood and Ashes by Milla Vane (2020)

A Gathering of Dragons, Book #1

Heat Factor: ✋🩸🍆

Character Chemistry: Maddek wants to hate Yvenne, but he can’t

Plot: Epic fantasy revenge marriage of convenience road trip

Overall: Holy shit

Continue reading “Review: A Heart of Blood and Ashes by Milla Vane (2020)”
Recommended Read, Review

Review: Marrying the Billionaire by Allie Winters (2021)

The Bishop Brothers, Book #2

Review of The Bishop Brothers, Book #1

Heat Factor: Considering how much they’re into each other, it’s a pretty slow burn (but with some intermediate stuff going on)

Character Chemistry: I was a little worried because Serena started out determined to show Archer how much she’s worth marrying, but they sorted themselves out

Plot: Serena was supposed to marry Archer’s brother in book one but ended up jilted at the altar, so Archer stepped in to save the day and the business deal

Overall: This book was very chill (except I wanted to rage at Archer’s dad), but also very awesome

Continue reading “Review: Marrying the Billionaire by Allie Winters (2021)”
Review

Review: The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata (2016)

Heat Factor: Pretty standard Zapata slow burn

Character Chemistry: It kinda wasn’t there and then all of a sudden it was?

Plot: Let’s have a marriage of convenience because of reasons

Overall: I liked it but I kinda don’t know why

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Review

Review: Stolen to Wear His Crown by Marcella Bell (2020)

The Queen’s Guard, Book 1

Heat Factor: 🍆🍆 ← that’s two sexy rumpuses

Character Chemistry: It gets better

Plot: She gets forcibly married to the king and then makes the best of it. It’s good to be queen!

Overall: The opening is extremely YIKES but the second half is excellent

Continue reading “Review: Stolen to Wear His Crown by Marcella Bell (2020)”